Choosing (well) what defines us

We all have defining experiences in our lives – an event or situation that becomes a driving force behind our actions and therefore our lives.

Of course for some their triumph over Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is their defining moment. “If I can beat this then I wonder what else I can achieve” – and they begin to look at other areas of their life they can change. The meaning they place on their Lightning Process success, allows them to make new decisions about their health and life.  They can go on to create extraordinary lives and I am continually inspired by their achievements.

For others it is ‘lost years’ of CFS/ME that is their defining moments. I often hear people say “Never again will I take my health for granted or do things which may compromise my health”. These people often see ME and CFS as their teacher and the years as a valuable journey to wellness.

Over the years many people have shared with me their defining moment. What has become clear is that it isn’t the circumstance that defines us but the meaning we place on the circumstances. 

Some people point to a ‘bad event’ as the reason why their lives are so bad, others point to a similarly ‘bad’ event as the reason they made changes and have an amazing life today.

People unfortunately can get ‘stuck’ in their defining moment when all that is required is to dramatically change the meaning they place on it.

The great thing is that we can choose what will be our defining moments. It doesn’t matter if they were positive or negative, it is the meaning we choose to place on it that makes the difference to our lives. So choose carefully.

Twin brothers were once interviewed about their upbringing under a violent alcoholic father. One had spent most of his life in prison the other had become a gentle well-respected priest. When asked about their life they both responded the same way– “growing up with a father like mine I had no choice. It’s because of my father that I am like I am today”.

Clearly they just chose very different meaning to the same circumstance. So when times are tough make them a defining moment for positive change.

You can then ask “Because of this, what am I willing to do to make change. Because of this what am I no longer willing to do? What will I take from this that will benefit me?

Life happens but we choose what meaning we place on it.


You can probably guess some of my defining moments by looking at my 'About Me' page. It is because of those horrible CFS days that I now have my drive and passion to ensure that others learn how to return to a full and healthy life.

Free Lightning Process Talks across the Sunshine Coast

Lightning Process & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Free Talks

For anyone living on the Sunshine Coast, I will be holding free talks this month about my work.

The talks will cover the Lightning Process's unique approach to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME & Fibromyalgia) and is suitable for both health professionals and sufferers.

The 1 hour talks will cover such questions as:
1. What is the Lightning Process?
2. Is Recovery Possible?
3. How lifestyle compromises and management techniques are off track?
4. Who is the Lightning Process suitable for?
5. What role does the current understanding of brain science play in CFS recovery?

For those that can't make it here are the answers :-)
1. Good question. If you can't make the talk call me.
2. Yes.
3. Managing may help stop crashes but doesn't stop the CFS.
4. Anyone ready to make massive changes in their life and ready to work at it. (it's not a magic pill sorry)
5. Look into Neural Plasticity and Psychoneuroimmunology. When you ignore the role brain function play in chronic illness you miss a massive opportunity.

Noosa - "The J"
Thursday 18th Aug - 6pm
Saturday 20th Aug

Maroochydore
Tues 23rd Aug 6.30pm
Saturday 27th Aug 2.30pm

Places in the venues are limited so bookings are essential.

Please phone on (07) 3102 4043
Or email through www.iancleary.com

ME/CFS research harassment

Working with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome certainly is very satisfying work. Like every job it has its challenges but seeing people reclaim their lives is so inspirational for me.

One of the aspect of my job is discussing CFS and the theories behind the Lightning Process and also who is it best suited for.

In these discussions I do sometimes hit, not literally :-), people with differing beliefs around CFS, its diagnosis and its prognosis. It certainly is an emotive topic for some. But a recent article in the British Medical Journal highlighted just how 'passionate' some people are, highlighting the harassment extends to people researching ME/CFS and is impacting the research process. It appears that any work looking to study anything but the physicality of the condition is a focus of this small group of individuals.

Lightning Process practitioners are sometimes included in this focus as we look at how the brain and the body interact. It is wrongly assumed by some that because we look at the role of beliefs, language, expectation and other brain related aspects that we must believe that ME/CFS is 'all in the mind' or a psychiatric condition. We do not at all. We see it as a real physical condition AND that we can use our understanding of how the brain and body work to retrain ourselves out of it.

We limit our effectiveness when we discard the role the brain plays in our health.

New understanding of this brain and body interaction are creating entirely new fields of health. 'PNI' (PsychoNeuroImmunology) is a great example of this. Check out a brief overview on Wikipedia here.

We need to break free from the old way of thinking that suggests if we can use our brain as part of the solution to fix it, it must not have been real or physical.

This radio pieces from the UK highlights the current situation:

BBC RADIO - (warning: some strong langauge)